One Desperate Comedy Blogger to Another: Help!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I had hoped that screaming through my keyboard would be equivalent to screaming into a pillow, but that was so surprisingly difficult to type, I’m now more annoyed that before.

I held down the ‘H’ key awaiting an infinite tail for my “GA” to appear. Instead, my sadist computer responded by freezing. When it finally allowed me to resume, I attempted it again in further frustration, but only one H pooped out. For whatever damn reason, this site does not allow you spam a single letter. It’s like they’ve kid proofed WordPress, and I have no time for that right now!!! I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna.

This is surely Murphy’s Law at its worst. Oh God, spare me the suffering; I beg you.

sfhdufhduhfuishfgiufhgiufdgudfhgdfhgufdhgfdhgufdhguhfdg

So there, I’m taking it back to the days of AIM– Showing my frustration through a random assortment of letters typed as fast as possible. It’s actually pretty fun.

shfhdofhdffhiudfhdshksnvksfbdffkjdsfsdf iuodchfidsh fcfdh idfhgiudfhgjdfhkjdfnkjvdfgdf

Uhh, that feels good.

I have been so exhausted from work for the last two months, that I haven’t had the mental or emotional abilities to develop a post worthy of going onto this blog. I have high expectations for myself, and this post is about as bottom of the barrel as I will allow.

I did just spend the afternoon drafting a thoughtful post detailing work and all of the exciting new ambitions I’ve undertaken in 2016. But, two hours in, I realised that it was such an immense pile of dog dung, I had no choice but to scrap it.

Woe is me! Isn’t there some ancient Greek Saint I can pray to for comedic inspiration? The only one I know of is Ayios Phanourios, whom my mother taught me to ask for help when I lose something. Well, I’ve lost my talent, so it’s worth a shot I guess. The downside is that after he finds the thing you’re missing, you are supposed to light a candle for his mother in church; and there are NO Greek Orthodox churches in Japan, rest assured.

What about the Greek God of theater and wine? Dionysus; I think that’s his name. I know it’s old school, but if anyone can help me, I’m sure it’s him.

I’m sincerely hoping that somehow this unplanned and unorganised mess of a post will somehow break my inability to be funny. If anyone has any idea of how to solve the crisis that is writer’s block, please; I am all ears. And they are very big ears, I might add.

Yours Desperate,

Phil

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