Once Upon a Time I was Psychic

Yesterday was a good day. I ate an egg roll for breakfast, connected with some fellow bloggers, and had some demons exorcised from my body.

Or, wait. Was it a spring roll?

No, it had meat; it was definitely an egg roll.

What he said.
This is not a picture of me.

Moving on. I know the egg roll isn’t what got you interested in this post. Unless it did, in which case, let me know. I am a really talented rambler, and I would love to write an entire post about it for you!

But, I must confess something. I may have embellished earlier with the whole exorcism thing. By may have, I mean that I completely made it up. Unfortunately for this blog post, I’ve never been possessed. Unless you count the winter I became oddly attached to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

An exorcism is just a better hook than “I had some archangels descend from the heavens and heal my soul through the power of their divine being, allowing me to cut negative Earthly ties to live a healthier and happier life.”

Actually, what was I thinking? That sounds awesome!!

And now that you probably think I’m insane, I’m going to further that belief by taking five seconds to talk religion. l know it isn’t everyone’s thing. I’m not trying to convert you, just hear me out. Pleaseee *puppy dog eyes*

You can't resist it.
Who can resist this face?

I was raised Greek Orthodox, and though I feel that I have a personal relationship with God, I don’t enjoy going to church. Lately, when I’m asked If I’m religious, I respond that I’m more spiritual. I feel connected to the Universe, and I am open to improving myself in unorthodox ways.

See, only five seconds. Yesterday, I met with an incredibly gifted woman. This isn’t someone I found on the internet. She’s very well-respected, and I’ve known her for a bit. She performed a “Shamanic Healing Technique” on me. She has spent much time studying with actual Peruvian Shamans, and  it is only one of the many modalities she is proficient in. And she’s psychic.

I am going to outline everything that happened during the ritual:

1) First, she draped a pink sheet over me. Pink is so not my color, but I didn’t argue with her. This allowed her to better see my auras.

2) I was told to close my eyes throughout the whole thing and she began to relax me by shaking a maraca. Typically, when I’m expected to relax, I become less relaxed because I’m too busy stressing out about relaxing.

3) I started to worry that my aura was betraying me and she could tell that  I wasn’t relaxed, even though I was making my best “relaxed face”.

4) She told me the left side of my body had stronger energy. Apparently this correlates with feminine energy. My dad will be proud.

5) She immediately asked me if I had a estranged relationship with my father. I don’t have a relationship with my biological father, so yes?

6) She also saw the number 7 and asked me if anything important occurred at that age. This was when my mom started dating my now dad.

7) She also saw a pelican. Ok, even I was like..”Uh, What?” The weird part is, I totally recall recently having a conversation about a pelican.

8) She periodically asked if my body was doing anything. At one point, my left eye was leaking while the right was burning. Now, I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure those are symptoms of a UTI. I didn’t say that to her.

9) She also saw the letters S and B. These were supposed to be people I have negative feelings about. I know exactly who they both are. I’m just surprised a few other letters didn’t show. Like M, N..O,P,Q,R,S..you get it.

10) Lastly, I don’t know how I feel about past lives. I’m open to the idea, but I also hope they don’t exist. If it turns out they do, I was once a Native American medicine man who lived in the Montanan mountains.

11) She also saw an owl. This means I was intuitive to the highest degree. I’m not surprised; I always guess the gender of babies correctly.

12) After this, she called upon the angels, and I was able to let go of stuff.  Even if it was all in my head, I feel better. And, that’s what matters.

Moral of this story is, An egg roll a day keeps the Psychiatrist away.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your views on spirituality, and if you are interested in the person I met with, I would love to share her with you.



5 thoughts on “Once Upon a Time I was Psychic”

  1. —–Phil,
    you are so adorable!
    No. I do not believe in reincarnation…but if I did, I’d definitely want to come
    back as a big-fat-fluffy cat! A snotty, well fed cat!
    Did you pay this woman? Did you believe her? Did you enjoy the egg roll?!!
    What are your beliefs?
    I am a Christian
    Aren’t’ I nosy?!!

    1. Thank you, glad you enjoyed!! Haha, being a cat would be great. I think if I came back, I would also want to be an animal. Maybe a bird, just fly around. I did pay her, (well it was a gift). She is very well-known here. The kindest soul. And the egg roll was amazing!! Hm, I may have to do any entire post on just what my beliefs are, but I also consider myself Christian, just more of a mixture of many things. I appreciate all of the questions!!

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